Monday, August 9, 2010

One Year Ago...

One year ago, I sat here weeping much like Hannah. I prayed and prayed that God would give me a baby. My heart was so full of love and it ached to have a child. My hope seemed to fade with each passing day. In my head, I knew that God was in control and He would do what was best for us. But there were some very dark days for me last summer.

One year ago, we had just celebrated our first grandbaby’s first birthday. It was a marvelous celebration!! I’m not sure I was ready to be a grandmother, but that baby captured my heart the first minute I ever laid eyes on him. I certainly love that little guy more than I ever imagined and being a grandmother was easy! My job was to love him, play with him, and face it--spoil him! If you know me very well, I don’t like to party just half-way. While I didn’t want to embarrass my husband, I think I went a little overboard with a beautiful red wagon full of gifts! Imagine us walking into the party with an obscene amount of presents for a one year old. Oh, well...that’s my job!

After all the gifts, cake, hugs, and kisses I left that party praying for my baby. We were barely out of the driveway, when the tears started again. God, please hear me! I want to celebrate MY baby’s birthday!

One year ago, in a very different setting another mother was on the other side of the world. It was a cool day just before rainy season began. She was also crying out to God for her baby. As a mother, I only imagine what was going through her mind. God, I love my baby more than anything and I have nothing to give her. I want my baby to have clothes on her back, food in her belly, and a roof over her head.

One year ago, this mother made an amazingly difficult and loving decision. She chose to give her baby a chance at a better life. This day, her decision and this child has forever changed our lives!

Today, I sit here in awe of God’s handiwork. He held me tightly one year ago as I wept for a baby to hold in my arms. Our same great God held that mother too on the other side of the world as she wept when she placed her baby in the arms of a social worker. I wonder if she was praying for me on that day as I was praying for that baby?

Today, the tears are still rolling down my cheeks because my heart is so full of love and gratitude that I think I will burst! Today, there’s so much laughter that fills each room. Those dark days of last summer are so far away now. Because of God’s great love, amazing grace and gift of Mercy, our lives will never be the same!

15 comments:

  1. thanks for sharing this story, Stacey. This is helping me through my battle of not being able to have a child. thanks again for sharing this. It really helps my journey to be easier.

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  2. It was an honor to hold that baby girl on the way back to the city and love on her for a while. It's an honor now to watch her grow in the love of you and Mike. I'm positive that our girls' mother loves them dearly; I saw it in her eyes. We are truly blessed! thank you for sharing this! Love you friend!

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